Your local provider may vary, but it never hurts to help. Go look and give your karma and your yard a boost!

Do Good. Have Fun. Make the World More Beautiful.

As I write this there are several guys trampling back and forth over my head hammering in a new roof. One of the things I didn’t know you had to do to prepare your premises for this undertaking is to get everything off the walls because…see above…there will be several guys trampling back and forth all day!

(You’ll get a feel for your level of accumulation if you ever have to do this exercise, by the way.)

In the course of pulling down paintings and antiques from over 30 years in the same house, I began to realize I had more art than floor. Looking for a safe place to lean the paintings out of paw/foot-traffic range, I stood for about three seconds in front of the television in the living room seeing the perfect spot if I didn’t care if I couldn’t use the babble box for a couple of days.

Somewhere under the stuff we love is an electronic device we bought once.

That’s all the time it took for me to realize that not only were we unlikely to miss this object in the next couple of days, we had hardly used it in the past week. And then I decided it didn’t matter whether it was accessible or not.

I just received a newsletter that says it perfectly:

When asked how she managed to be so prolific, (noted author, teacher, and designer) Barbara Walker said she needed only four or five hours of sleep each night. She also said that her TV set broke once and she didn’t get around to calling the repair man for five years. “I got a lot done,” she smiled.

http://tinyurl.com/mrhm8j

So, before you ask me what you should do, first ask yourself what are you doing right now that doesn’t matter.

A Treat ‘em Right to Remember

(We’ll just let the pictures do the talking.)

"OK, is everybody ready?"

"Smile!"

"Man, are there ever a lot of people here."

"That's OK ... It looks like a friendly crowd."

"Lots of new information, and now..."

"...it's time to sing again!"

Kody B The Master Emcee

"Kody B can actually rap. The rest of us, well..."

"Hey, Chris!"

"Having a good time yet?"

A Thoughtful Moment

Very Unexpected

Priceless!

"Mark Johnson got to meet Jordan Adler. Wow!"

"Just give her the ball and no one gets hurt!"

A Lot to Take In

Good Times Shared with Good Friends

"What a super day!"

In the middle of the shady forest..... the moon.

“Mike, get on with it!”

The source of the reminder was a couple of phone calls. One on Saturday informed me that the husband of a new distributor in my organization had just dropped dead at the age of 53.

This morning I received a phone call from another friend confirming attendance at a major event this coming weekend and, by the way, he spent the weekend in the hospital due to a heart attack. He is 43.

OK. Got it. Message received, loud and clear:

“You don’t know how much time is left so you better get on with the ‘bucket list’ RIGHT NOW.”

But on a deeper level the message is to get on with the simple, essential, often less obvious, “A” list things as well. Here’s a short list to self:

• Call someone and tell them you love them. One of you may not be here tomorrow.
• Get on with the healing. Practice forgiveness NOW! (That includes forgiving yourself.)
• Is there something important you want to leave behind? Some work, project, message? Do it now.
• Let go of those time wasting activities that distract you. (Overused phrase, but true: “don’t major in minors.”)
• Recognize attachments that are holding you back, slowing you down, limiting your vision. Release them; they do not serve you.
• Examine your thinking. Would you be content with what is on your mind right now as your last thought? It just could be.
• Examine your actions. Ditto above.
• Consider your goals. Do they represent what really matters to you? Would it fit into your epitaph or the eulogy at your funeral?

Note To Reader: What would be on YOUR list?

"Bowling or Senior Asset Protection...hmmm, which should I do first?"

Which of these two mailing pieces stands out for you?

I had started to use the one at the top for scratch paper when I noticed the other one in my in box. Out of curiosity I pulled it out and laid them side by side.

The one on top offers Senior Asset Protection Services. The other touts “Bowling, Food, & Fun.”

Now, I can probably guess what they were thinking. Someone told them to use a brightly colored paper in a simple bifold to make it easy and inexpensive to mail.

But with just a little imagination each of these could have done something to make them distinctive. Maybe some graphics, line drawings, photos.

What do you think? Was this a waste of money or just a little bad timing?

I love this sketch of me done by David Bamberg at today's talk!

I’ve had a great time today speaking to a group of business people in Magnolia, Texas about Rerferral Marketing and Relationship Bulding. The group meets at a place called Main Street Crossing with a HUGE projection screen and capacity for 200 people – a really nice venue. Being mid-summer and odd weather we had a moderate-sized but very responsive group.

As is often the case, the most interesting conversations occurred after the meeting. Several of us were sitting around getting an early lunch and talk turned to whether protected categories are a benefit or a detriment to networking groups.  To be totally honest I was a bit surprised myself by the candor with which I was taking the anti-protection position.  I’ve long held the opinion that having categories within relationship building (networking) groups fundamentally diminishes the potential of the organization and its benefit to members. I suspect that brushing up my presentation these last few days and then delivering it today had focused my mind on the need for abundance thinking and paying it forward. The very idea of establishing barriers to social intercourse through position exclusivity seems totally wrong headed.

What do you think? Closed categories  or open – which is better? Why?

I’m going to have to discuss this in a circuitous manner since the specific parties in question are not the point. If it matters to them, they’ll figure it out. They are officially smart people and can easily do so. However, the event time line is:

1. We meet someone and establish a business connection.
2. We often have occasion to see this person in social as well as business settings, and they are publicly demonstrative of close acquaintance.
3. We transact with this person several times over a period of many months to an amount in excess of $3,000 in a single year.
4. Although this person knows that we are in a business whose stated goal is to “change the world” by demonstrating appreciation and recognition in all walks of life, they never once tell us, “Thank you for your business.” [Hint: We're in such a business based on the fact that we subscribe to it's philosophical code. This stuff really matters to us! Get it?]
5. We stew and rankle over this until the next large purchase requirement arrives, then…

We do business with a stranger.

It turns out that this process is not just about us but is a psychologically predictable phenomenon. One of my favorite authors on this topic is Jim Novo, whose web analytics work is both superb and translatable into a variety of business circumstances. In his most recent newsletter he wrote the following:

The Social sword has two edges.  If you are going to use a two-way Relationship Marketing approach, you will create higher expectations with those who Engage.  If you fail to perform, or just act like an Advertiser would, then you will end up creating more damage than if you had simply ignored the two-way idea.

For Marketing, the important idea to understand is the human brain always questions actions taken, however briefly, and tries to resolve conflict.  Any unresolved conflicts tend to taint the action, they create Friction, and drive down the Potential Value of the experience.

[If you don't subscribe to Jim yet, you should.]

And there was, you’ll excuse the pun, the rub: the public demonstration of a close relationship was constantly at odds with the manner in which we were treated when we were paying customers. Unable to resolve the dichotomy, we just removed the “being a paying customer” element to dissolve it.

I would submit to you that there are far too many people who are silently excusing their social faux pas by saying, “They’ll understand. They’re my friends.” No, they will not. They believe (or believe that you want them to believe) that they are your friends and that they therefore require at minimum the consideration that you would afford a stranger who was not motivated to accept excuses of propinquity for rudeness. When they do not receive it, they notice the dissonance and will be forced by the basic framework of the human mind to resolve it, perhaps to a conclusion you would not have wished.

In the coaching biz, they refer to this as “being in integrity.” Think of it is having all of your actions being of a piece. This is what you want your friends, colleagues, and (yes) customers to experience in their exchanges with you. This is particularly true if you intend to frame them as (oh, the oddity of the word these days!) “social.”

The requirement for appropriate respect and appreciation could not be more clear than in the letter Judith Martin (a.k.a. Miss Manners) received from a reader:

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

Just recently, I received a note from my cousin which began, “Bill and I would like to thank you for the graduation gift you gave to Tom.” I was beginning to wonder whether Tom had not been taught how to write.

My fears were allayed, however, when I received a canceled check endorsed to “Tom Smith.”…

She advises, “Generosity and gratitude should always travel together, and since the gratitude is absent, Miss Manners suggests you squelch the generosity.”

Thank you, Miss Manners!

1. Don’t spam
2. Listen
3. Be generous

Notice something about this list: with the smallest amount of tweaking these rules apply for just about any social setting in any age. They can be pretty much summed up with the simple phrase “behave yourself.”

Social Correspondence

Don’t Spam

Make your contributions appropriate to the conversation.  Whether you are at a cocktail party,  a business mixer, the neighborhood BBQ, or online, be considerate of other people’s time and feelings. No one cares for the self-centered, self-promoting blow-hard who has to outshine every other light in the room.

Listen

Remember these old adages:

Two ears, one mouth. Use them in that proportion.

Samson killed 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. Every day sales are killed the same way.

If you aren’t listening, you aren’t learning.

Be Generous

Another adage, made famous by Zig Ziglar: “You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want.”

You don’t have to give away the farm, but it doesn’t hurt to help the hungry when you have bounty to share.  In my sales training days we used to teach that professionals who solve their clients’ problems before they become clients tend not to have clients. We called it “unpaid consulting.”   I still think that is largely true. But I’ve tempered my thinking over the years with the realization that when you give away vast amounts of your expertise or deliver at low price points (for relatively low time investment) people will pay a premium for the best you have to offer.

I liken this to the endcap samples at the superstore where you can graze on a Sunday and practically have lunch for free but you end up leaving the store with two or three items that you did not intend to purchase. Because someone was confident enough to deliver free samples, you left with the whole package and will likely come back for more.

Generosity pays, besides just being the right thing do to.

All of these principles  are as valid today as they were in the 1890’s. They just have more leverage and momentum now, which means transgressions are punished with brutal swiftness.

New? Really? Still?

It truly puzzles me that some sales and marketing gurus talk of listening to your customers, speaking from integrity, and coming from service as if these are novel concepts. Any professional sales person who has advanced past the rank of peddler knows that the customer is always in the driver’s seat  (they do write the check , y’know) and that whatever you do that does not serve their highest good is ultimately going to be to your own detriment.

This is not just a truth, it is an old truth, and the best sales training companies have been teaching this for decades. Yea, there are a few charlatans around who try to perpetuate the pressure strategies made infamous by movies like “Boiler Room.”  However, since my first entry into the world of sales training back in – shudder, at my age disclosure – the 1980’s, the best companies have taken the high road. Though each may use somewhat different formulas and models they all tend to focus on understanding the client’s needs, helping them to understand the impact of their own problem, and co-designing a solution that both solves the problem and adequately compensates the solution provider. The only real difference now is that the word gets out faster (for good and bad) and the customer is in a far better position because of the free access to information.

The simple truth is that few professionals, either sales pros or professionals who have to sell, are inclined to the tactics promulgated in earlier times.  People have a gut knowledge that acts done out of integrity will undermine them both as a person and as a professional and that, as the word gets out, their reputation and business will suffer.

And unlike in the time of Harold Hill, The Music Man, it’s getting harder to get out of town to find a new bunch of yokels.

I don’t take issue with the current band of pundits who are promulgating this “new philosopy.” I just wish they’d be a bit less disingenuous about it being new.

Yesterday I read the following in the New York Times article titled “Americans Worried About Flu’s Impact on Finances“:

…while most adults are not overly concerned about their own health or that of their families, they are worried about the financial hit they will take if illness or school closings keep them home from work, according to the survey by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health.

Some 44 percent of those surveyed said they would lose income if they missed work for a week to 10 days due to illness, and a quarter said they could lose their jobs or businesses altogether.

It makes me appreciate some choices we have made over the last three years.

2006 was a heck of a year for us.

In February V’s mother passed away.  As the only child descended from a long line of hoarders, V was the one left to put things back together.

For the next 12 months we found ourselves week by week progressively deeper in the accumulated detritus of a century of multiple ancestor’s indecision. Throughout that summer we cleared a large two-car garage from a state of total clutter (I don’t exaggerate when I say you literally could not get more than two feet into the garage) to totally empty. That front of that house was filled from driveway to driveway, sidewalk to curb, 3 to 4 feet high on at least four separate occasions. Thus it went for the entire house plus another property 40 miles away in Ellis County.

I recall once commenting to V as we were engaged in one multi-property clearing push that we had just carried a truck load of trash across four different counties.

It went on like this, almost without cease, through the first quarter of 2007.

But one thing happened during this time that makes the title of this post of profound significance. In May of 2006, despite the press of events, we had started a second business to provide some additional income. We worked on it as much as we could between my “day” job as “the coach” and the relentless chaos that was spinning around us. Around late November of 2006 we were both so totally burned out that it was all we could do to put one foot in front of the other let alone work on building more business. For all practical purposes we were barely in business from late November of 2006 through March of 2007. But we were surprised (make that delighted) that the business we had started in May continued to grow. We were receiving regular checks based on things we had started nearly a year before.

Fits standard 8-up nametag labels. Enjoy!

So here I am now happy to announce that despite the craziness of these economic times my “Plan B” is continuing to build and grow.

I’m not smug about this. Frankly, it was partly dumb luck.

But I am still heel-clicking delighted.